The most illogical negative reviews in Steam

Not so long ago I had a new entertainment – to take a deliberately recognized and good game and read negative reviews on it in Steam. Controversial entertainment, of course, but I guaranteed to receive my fraction of fun.

Today I wanted to share my wealth with you. Here is a selection of particularly stubborn reviews in Steam for unambiguously recognized and brought something new to the game industry.

I will make a reservation right away – I did not take reviews where they simply condemn the controversial moments or where they complain about optimization, did not also take openly egregious trolling. In this collection – only those reviews that tear the template into chips.

P.WITH. I could not resist, and added his comments somewhere-he hid them under the spoiler, so that it would not be particularly annoying, sorry.

WARNING

The following samples contain an extreme amount of idiocy, the complete absence of grammar, the absolute ignoring of ethics and logic norms. Read only at your own peril and risk.
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons

I am sure that not everyone liked this game, everyone has different tastes. No one will argue that the game is short, the riddles in it are not difficult, the plot is at the forefront. And no one will argue that this plot is a truly adult, grabs the living, completely blows the roof and takes away consciousness far, far away, without saying a word in the language that we know. Short Adventor became the game of the year for many players and a fresh stream in the genre.
But some people have their own opinion on this question.

The treacherous Steam does not guess your problems at a distance. Greedy corporations!

Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

Do you need comments here? No, not needed. The game lifted up the quality bar for competitors so much that this can only be expressed:

But! There is a group of persons who have their own question, a special look.

Crap! This dude loves to fall over hardcore even where he was not implied

Shah and Mat, developers!

One gay for the whole game, outrageous!

And shit on a huge worked out world, hundreds of filigree quests and an exciting plot. Witcher is a slasher. Dot

We need busty elven and grind-grind

Bioshock Infinite

I’m not sure why this game will idolize more-because of its central character or because of the plot, ending in particular. But even with his own rather controversial, gameplay, the universe of this game and its characters remain in memory for a long time. Bioshock Infinite left a deep mark in a modern gaming culture.
But these guys clearly disagree with this.

« I did not understand anything, it is too difficult, and, in general, the grafon is shit. »

There are no unexpected turns? Damn, this person is probably very difficult to find by surprise

The very case when you thought that you would be ready to hear anything, but you are still surprised

One gets the impression that a person wrote with a split personality

X-Com: Enemy Unknown

Despite my personal sympathy for this game, I cannot call her the best game of all time. Nevertheless, this is one of the best restarts in my memory, if not reckoning with the particularly stubborn fanboas of the Origal Game.
It would seem that the main backbone of the collections will consist of them, but ..

This person seems to begin to suspect something about Apple products

And if it is undesirable to kill it, then the game is automatically 10 out of 10

Dark Souls: Prepare to die Edition

Yes, perhaps most examples will be predictable – the game is really not for everyone. The problem is that the game is still very high quality and there are many people who sincerely like it.
But there are people who believe that no one will like it.

How can you do without a classic whining about the complexity in the game?

Walking Dead: Season 1-2

Telltale Games is a recognized master of storytelling. Let there be no games as such, and variability is not always the one you expect, the stories told still remain piercing and exciting.
Or not?

Reproach for the absence of an open world – and this is when you think you are already impossible to surprise you

Hotline Miami

A acidic drug addict in the style of Miami of the 80s with a chic soundtrack and a simple, but blowing roof with a gameplay, as well as very naturalistic cruelty.
What can cross out the pleasure of all this?

Do not worry, bro, you would not understand anything in Russian

Now the concept of « cooperative » has turned into a boring trend, to addition for converse slag. Even competently executed, it can cause a gag due to the visit of such a technique. But then Portal 2 thundered with his own cooperative! I’m already silent about solitary regime.
Come on, is it really necessary for someone to talk about Glados?

I could assume that this person is too smart even for such humor as humor in Portal 2, but the fact that game tasks cause him such a difficulty and the fact that a small paragraph of text requires significant efforts in him.

Wolfenstein: The New Order

Another excellent example of transferring classics to a new way. The authors managed to find the perfect balance between old -west and accessibility to new players. You may not love “stupid jester” but you still remember this game.

Hitman: Blood Money

No matter what they say about Hitman: Absolution, Blood Money is an unambiguous peak of the series, the climax of the development of the idea and a recognized classic. The game occupied a very narrow but demanded niche among game genres, and this niche gradually turned into a royal throne, on which agent 47 rests still.

Agree, the original statement!

South Park: The Stick of Truth

For this game, the calculation of the South Park could become a problem exclusively. But, given the number of these fans and the quality of the final product, did not.

I am scared to imagine how much humor this person needs if even the South Park seems too serious for him

This game has such a dense atmosphere of the 40s that I want to hide all my alcohol just in case. At first, a happy plot is more pleased to the end, turns into such a logical node that you experience real pride in the disclosure of the crime. And add to this the branded Rockstar quality – get the game at the exit, which raised a bar of the quality of detective games at a hitherto rebellious level.

All women – b **** and, bro

I bought to leave a review – regretted that I bought – mod to GTA: SA – No words

Divinity: Original Sin

Another evidence that the old school is still alive. It depends on how many people were “talked” from the moment of its release, the idea comes that the playing industry still has a chance.
What is there if the main claim to the game is that it is “too vast”, this already says a lot.
But there are other claims. Are they fair?

Conclusion: All people are different. And everyone has their own opinion. While you keep your opinion with you – no one will take it away from you. So be careful, putting it on public display.
I am well aware that some of the above examples may be trolling. I tried to remove especially fat attempts, but in these of your Internet Internet you will understand who is the troll and who is really an idiot.
Showing such reviews to decisively all games in Steam seems impossible to me, you understand. Alas, this phenomenon is much more extensive than it seems.
Please learn to express thoughts competently. All with the upcoming summer sale!

The best comments

And in my first mission, only one dude survived from the detachment, whom Jesus was called. That’s what I realized that 10/10

I expected really stubborn reviews, and the selection is simply from horseradish. But thanks anyway.

I recalled a review of 7 days to die after which I bought this game:

6-review of the witcher 3.
I’ll add from myself – this girl was in my friends … I and about 50 more men and guys aged 16 to 30 tried to argue with her and give facts that she was mistaken, but not.
1. Witcher is not RPG, because you can not choose the floor of the protagonist.
2. Witcher is not RPG, because there are no builds and you cannot make a magician
3. Witcher is not RPG, because there is no open world as in Scariim
4. Witcher Linear UG, in which nothing changes during the game
5. There are a lot of quests, they fall in a bunch, not like Overmillion of quests from each hole in Skyrim.
6. Too few wolves and bears, one evil spirits.

And during the disputes, it turned out that the Counter-Strike RPG, because there you can play the role of a terrorist or special forces, Gothic and risen RPG, although it is impossible to change the floor, but there is no witch. And so on.

I feel sorry for both myself and those people who tried to explain to “this expert RPG”, as she says that she is a stupid stuffed.
P.WITH. In the end, she deleted her VSYER. And this is an achievement!)

Voice acting all characters in a strange language.It’s not Russian or even English … rather some Chechen.Listen to this disgusting

“With gypsies, one problem is impossible to understand.They speak not in Irish and not in English.It’s just gypsy. »
© Big Kush.

I like it when people write a review on the game entering the role of one of the heroes.
You heard that, ZA?
You know, this morning, when I was sitting in a cafeteria on the Los Angeles coast (and it was the 80th year and the “jaws” of Spielberg just went out) a glass of coffee told me that this game will have no less than my favorite brand cigarettes! You know what I did the first thing? Put down the bait, which once again fell a pack of crackers ($ 35 apiece, by the way!) and ran home through the nearest forest, shooting on the move from the crowd of nauseating zombies. And you know that ZA? Coffee did not let me down, as usual, this masterpiece of Japanese retail provides us with everything that we managed to starve:
1) a graph that makes you gently nostalgic for the Resident Evil 96th year;
2) management, gently reminds us that the game is overcoming obstacles, and not enjoying a walk;
3) poor optimization that prevents the launch of the game in such a way that the player has to solve the first puzzle even before the game is launched (in order to start it)
4) And finally, the lack of a conservation system that would allow us to store at least a couple of “Seves” at the same time
It sounds depressing, so what’s the matter? And the point, my dear in the plot, amazing sound accompaniment, a creepy and mysterious surroundings, as well as in incredibly charismatic characters, absolutely justifying an attempt to penetrate the unique charm of this game!
But quieter Zak, they are already here!

Yes, even Divinity is too step-by-step, Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons is too touching, X-Com is not a shooter, South Park is too serious (?), Wolfenstein and Walking Dead are not Russians, Portal 2 “Very Bad Multiplayer”, Hitman Blood Money NOT ABSOLUTION, but the Witmaker is not MMO.

P.WITH. Evil Whin is good, but too controversial game. Most of the claims there have the right to exist.

Thanks for the mood, I thought there was also Evil Within with his black stripes, but that would be too obvious.
Bottom line: Dark Souls Complex, Bioshock: Infinite is incomprehensible, Hotline miami is not graphone, but in l.A.Noire too many detectives!

Changed the word « stubborn » in the header for « illogical », completely agree with the comments on this subject

As for an intelligent story – the second episode is still allowed to smoke, so I wouldn’t be so sure about Life Is Strange.

A friend, I recommend starting with Dayz and create another topic later, « The most logical negative reviews in Steam ».